Andrei’s Reach
Kourosh’s post reminded me that I had promised Marcelle to share my experience of the night that Andrei passed. Coincidentally (or not), my computer wouldn’t power up immediately after Andrei passed, and has been inop ever since.
Sunday night (August 3rd) I had a dream that a nurse had told me that my girlfriend Lyndsey was pregnant. I thought it was pretty funny (since neither one of us can procreate) but when I told Lyndsey, she was shocked and horrified and told me that pregnancy dreams mean “somebody is going to die”. I didn’t think much about it, since it was just a dream, but she was sure that someone we knew would be affected.
The next night, early that Tuesday morning, I had another dream. I was in the kitchen and opened the cupboard where we keep our spices. Inside on the shelf was a large cereal bowl, tipped on its side, overflowing with ground black pepper. I felt a profound need to right the bowl and clean the mess of the spilt pepper, but as I reached towards the bowl an unseen force pulled me backwards. I remember feeling helpless and hopeless as I slowly spun and fell, away from the cupboard. In slow motion, I was falling and flailing, reaching for the countertop to try to stop my fall, but I couldn’t quite reach the counter. Spinning .. falling … flailing … it was an unbelievably hopeless feeling. I awoke just before sunrise feeling a deep sense of loss.
I didn’t tell Lyndsey about this dream, because I was sure she would assign some cosmic meaning into it. Little did I know that she would have been right. When Debbie called me that evening, I knew before I picked up the phone that she would have bad news. I never imagined that it would be Andrei.
Andrei’s energy reached all the way to Colorado when he passed. I think the spilt pepper was Andrei - he may have come to me like that because whenever I think of him, I picture him with black stubble on his face. I also associate Andrei with spices, not only because of his love of cooking, but also because of the time he spent in Greece with his uncle (who I think is a spice exporter?).
Mark Clintsman