Andrei Podell

Slip peacefully, Sweet Andrei

Into the day, into the boundless heaven,
Making your journey with grace, Sweet Andrei,
Free from Earthly pain at the hour of seven.

Sweet Andrei, how proud we all are of you,
You inspired, delighted & entertained,
A teacher of many, not just a few,
You gave us gifts with sweet refrain.

The depths of your insight, the heights of your joy,
Kept us all wondering, how much more,
Always sharing, what a delightful boy,
You gave of yourself to help others soar.

You were the rowan among the plain trees,
You were the knight among man at arms,
Your rifle was your mind, if you please,
Loaded & ready to serve, never to harm.

Nothing you did was ever routine,
You marched to your own drum, hooray!
Your countenance was adamantine,
You will be remembered, the posts all say!

With all those words, let there be no doubt,
You accomplished your mission, in short order,
With speed, compassion, flair, & clout,
Much too fast for our comfort, you did not loiter.

We must all understand, accept & carry on,
For we know you wouldn’t want us to yearn,
You will remain in our hearts, yon, & yon, & yon.
We just wish it wasn’t your turn!

So, Sweet Andrei who slipped into the day,
With abiding love & thankfulness, we say so long,
For we will see you someday, I say,
Then we will reminisce about your infinite & enlightening song.

That smile, as they say, that could launch a ship,
That laugh that brightened any space,
Your boyish delight, would make our hearts skip,
I hope I have made my case!!

So long for now Sweet Andrei!

The memories come to me…..sometimes one at a time, sometimes in a flood….five years with you flash before my eyes. It leaves me feeling both blessed beyond words to have known you, and completely crushed to have to live the rest of my life without you.
Every time I feel your energy around me, I have a moment of peace.
I love you and miss you, so much.
Melissa

I am glad to have met Andrei. It was an instant friendship. I don’t have many close friends but he was soon becoming one. He was and still is a great soul. Always supportive full of encouragement and hope . I miss him and will always have him in my heart

Ardeshir

Alice Moses is one of the very first heart connections I made when I came to the US in 1962.  Our friendship and love  for each other only gets stronger with time. Along with her partner, Aubrey Putnam, she was one of the very few with whom I could entrust Stefan and Andrei when they were little boys

Marcelle

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In a far time in the distant City, we enter the house on the hill. Stefan greets us. He stands at the foot of the stairs, grasping something in his left arm. He raises his finger, pointing to your room upstairs. Says softly and solemnly, in an admonitory tone, “Andwei shweeping.” We smile and talk quietly. How you can make your presence felt, even in sleep.

Time passes and in the same house, the same door opens and Marcelle comes in and puts you down. I rise from the couch-why was I waiting there?-and you see me. With a shriek of joy, you cross the room, shining, and fling your arms around my knees. You bury your face against my legs. Briefly you hug me and I am the only thing in your world. Then that moment is over. You let go and are away.

Memories of you, Marcelle, Stefan, Jerry come like that: flashes in sepia, color, some moving, some frozen, all gemmed by distance in the brain’s strange symmetry.

Now another door has opened before anyone was ready and again you have let go and moved on. Thirty years since I’ve seen or touched you and you’re gone beyond seeing, beyond holding. Yet here you are, in me, as you have been ever since you entered my life. Why isn’t that enough?

In a new time, distant from that far City, I sit in a hard chair and stare at these insufficient words and weep. The chimes ring faintly in the warm night wind. The crickets have never paused in their singing. I want to believe you are everywhere now but there’s no comfort in that. Loving you, loving all you left behind, I remember and return to the present. I open the door, wait for peace to enter in.

Alice

All the words you write about Andrei are like a beam of light radiating out from his essence and reaching out to each one of us.  The light goes directly to my heart.  I often tear up and also re-experience the richness of Andrei’s being and the wonderful web he created in his life. Thank you all for sharing your experience, your joy, your sadness, your loss – each of your expressions is a gift to me as I find him again and again in you and through you.

Marcelle

Andrei,  

The last few weeks have been poignantly stabbed and woven with melancholy as we have confronted the shattering truth none of us wants to believe, while reflecting on the profound interconnections of our lives.

You are an extraordinary person, a great and positive force that transcends the trivial, small nature of our mortal selves. This was immediately apparent from the moment we met twenty years ago, at the breakfast table, in the warm bosom of your mother’s peaceful home, the home where I came to live and know you as my brother.  Our boyish antics as young men were both a test of Marcelle’s patience and a testament to her virtue, which in turn imbued you with such good character. Our shared experiences - of triumph and tragedy - created the unbreakable sinews which bound us together into adulthood and in spirit, forever, across time and distance, from this life and into the next.

Thank you for your natural, genuine kindness. Our many conversations and experiences over the years accumulated and collectively imprinted, giving me that special appreciation of your character and soul, an appreciation that does not require description with mere deficient words. For anyone who experienced you this way will immediately understand what I mean when I say that I can simply open my hands and know that you are present.

You are a great inspiration. You are remembered and mourned and celebrated.

Peace.

When Andrei and I were maybe 9, 10, or 11 we had some game that I think involved one of us jumping around on the bed while the other one of us threw things (pillows, most likely) at the bouncer.  It’s not so much the game I remember clearly as what we started saying after bouncing for several minutes.  Panting, out of breath, we’d exclaim, “I need my oxy.”

It meant we were winded and needed some oxygen. Maybe we’d just been learning about such things in school. I have no idea. 20+ years later, I remember one of us said it after doing some gnarly set at the gym. And we both remembered exactly what it meant.

Andrei’s death is so abstract; it isn’t like Andrei and I were on the phone every day. I hadn’t seen him in a long while. My daily routine is identical to what it was August 4th. But there’s this thick blanket covering me. It’s so hard to breathe sometimes. Everything seems so much harder than before. Everything is heavier.

I need my oxy.

I felt the texture of your ashes today, through the cover. The ashes are on an altar Marcelle designed at her home. It’s beautiful – but I suppose you know that – with precious items representing you and love and earth and spirit. I’m thinking about an altar I’d like to make for you. It would have to be pretty big: a BBQ, lots of cookware, a coffee machine, a weight set, a really killer looking suit, an inspirational book, a cute little pink chihuahua-sized sweater.

Colin and I drove your car today. He calls it a race car - “the green car” - he was very stoked, while I was trying to figure out how your coffee cups could have fit in the little cup holders. The kids understand your death way better than us adults. For them it’s like, “Oh, I get it. Can we play now?” While the adults are straining for you, connecting to what My Broken Heart means, the kids are playing, laughing. It brings up the most frequent thought I have lately: “Andrei would have wanted that.” When we were cleaning your house, I imagined you sitting with the kids watching The Magic School Bus videos, laughing with them. Their laughter was part of the initial healing process for us all… and I know you were laughing, too.

You know when someone dies and everyone says, “he was loved by everyone”? Now I really get the feeling of that… everyone was either fascinated by you or, later, loved you. I never got feedback that you were just some guy. Marcelle would like my help writing an obituary… she told Stefan I could help since she thinks I’m a good writer, but what I feel like writing isn’t very good… isn’t very polite. It’s like, What the hell happened to you, Andrei? How is this possibly real? Tell me, Mr. Obituary Newspaper Editor, how the fuck can Andrei be dead?

Gianna and Colin are getting on with their lives as usual because that’s what kids do, and I’m blessed to have their energy around me. But all of us on this blog are on a life-long journey, starting each day without you.

I love you.
~Caity

(Andrei in around 1999 at a lunch we had with several family members and friends in San Francisco. He’s holding Justin’s dog, Hannah.)

Andrei  and I were college  classmates and both attended Crown College at UC Santa Cruz 1990-1994. Although I didn’t know Andrei well, I have so many poignant memories of him- because as you all know- he was larger than life.

His voice- so many of you have touched upon the power of his voice. I remember that voice, but also that sweet childlike almost falsetto laugh. It’s amazing how some memories just gel.

His Charm - He could sell ice to an eskimo- - and boy could he talk- but more importantly he connected with people on a very personal level and you trusted him.

His Gregarious nature- He had a Halloween party in his dorm room my freshman year and invited everyone. I was still pretty shy and didn’t know many people yet and I can remember feeling very nervous about attending my first college party. I remember having a lot of fun!

When I close my eyes and think of Andrei I see him in red shorts and birkentock sandals, with socks.. no ties back then!

Andrei will be greatly missed. He made such an impression on me 18 years ago becasue he was that type of person- unforgettable.

Terese Hollander Esperas

Andrei & I worked together at E-Myth Worldwide for six years. He was my teammate, friend, strategy consultant, travel companion and sometimes ‘partner in crime’.  We shared many passions but none as great as our love for the E-Myth message and bringing a higher level of consciousness to business.

Since learning of his passing, I have felt his presence vividly in both my daily present and in my sudden preoccupation with times past. I see him everywhere - in a meeting room with his laptop open, getting his hourly refill of coffee in the kitchen, in my office leaning back in a chair hands behind his head expanding on a new idea and leaving the building for the day pulling his rolling computer case behind him.

I have worked with many, many wonderful people during my 12 year tenure.  Andrei was undeniably special.  From the very beginning, he just got it - intellectually and intuitively.  His energy and passion drove a great deal of business and even more importantly, created many “client friends” for life.  I can honestly say that there were a few years that if Andrei hadn’t have been there, - my career at E-Myth would have would have ended long ago.  Thank you my friend.

Here is a sample of my ongoing trips to the past  - for those of you at E-Myth - this may explain why I have been ‘checked out’ at times.  I hope sharing a few of them will make you smile.

• Andrei & I arriving at Allstate offices in Atlanta and having the client who had spoken to Andrei on the phone for years looking past him and asking me where Andrei was……he answered, “Courtney, it’s me.” She looked at him in disbelief because she had pictured him a blond surfer from Southern California. His communication style of “cool”, “kick-ass” and “sweet” set up a very different impression.  She kept shaking her head for days every time he spoke.  Andrei loved it.
• Andrei and his gorgeous collection of ties - he looked great 
• After 9/11 - Andrei and I (the blond) in hysterics as I was once again pulled to the side for a ‘thorough’ security check while letting him through with no problem.
• Getting through a hurricane together in Mexico.  
• Andrei’s diet of Protein Bars
• Our tag team approach with a client. I trusted him completely and he trusted me - what a glorious feeling that is!
• Our opposite airplane preferences. I read and spoke to no one. Andrei talked the entire flight and walked off the plane with business cards. Thank God.  I am a Client Fulfillment person - he a Business Developer/Sales Guy - it was an ideal match.
• Andrei’s gift for words and positioning - brilliant.
• Andrei’s integrity and generosity…… so many examples of this…..too many to share.